preemptive apology
Putting my thoughts out into the world for all to read has been one of the most rewarding and simultaneously painful, frustrating, and miserable undertakings of my life. If it were possible, I would never write for an audience; my ramblings are not novel, are rarely coherent, and I would give them away freely if I could. It’s probably a feeling I need to work out with a therapist but I’d like to offer an open apology for all of this.
Preemptively apologizing for AI
While I do not typically allow LLM copy-paste to cross my tool borders, I haven’t run much of this content through an “AI checker”1. Regardless of the origin of the thought, it now has my name and endorsement on it and so if the phrasing or structure of a chatbot has somehow leaked through, I’d like to apologize. I constantly re-read these pathways and I’d happily rephrase a thought if it comes across as too mechanical.
Preemptively apologizing for plagiarism
I do however work incredibly intimately with my sources; productively pilfering off the shoulders of giants is the only reason there’s anything of worth here. If those get copy-pasted across my tools they should absolutely have their Zotero key attached, so if I’ve dropped that and am plagiarizing somewhere please let me know! I assure you it was very unintentional and I’m committed to fixing/removing the offense.
Preemptively apologizing for self-plagiarism
I’ve had the distinct privilege of having been allowed to work in and across this problem space for quite a while, and so my atlas spans several major disciplines and domains. I’ve been thinking in this problem space for a minute now. While I create new files and data by remixing this content, a strict critic might cry “self-plagiarism”. I think I understand the nuance of that term, and I don’t believe I’ve violated it in either spirit or practice. There is nothing here that is not publicly available or been published elsewhere and solving my wicked problem requires consistent incremental development across many long-term research arcs; each day is simply another step in untangling our portion of the knot. If there’s content here that particularly offends you please reach out and we can work to make it less-so!
Apologizing for accessibility
Most of the tools I’ve been given are incredibly accessible; but my inability to wield them correctly and the strange patterns I deploy them in have broken accessibility features like screen readers and other utilities to the point that accessibilitychecker.org alerted the FBI when I put the home page in. I am sorry this effort is not more accessible; if you can help make the time/space to improve on this please reach out!
Apologizing for my behavior
Finally, I’d like to apologize to those around me. I have had the honor of interacting with and working alongside some of the world’s most brilliant and competent individuals who set the standard for what excellence, rigor, and dedication look like in practice. My greatest regret is that I have not been able to meet the very bar you all set. I could not have done this without your support and so while I need to thank you2, I feel you’re also owed this apology. You deserve better and I’m so sorry for the frustration and pain I’ve caused. I am trying; hopefully the next iterations are faster.